Case Studies and bedtime stories

The EMBABE Diaries

WIB conference side effects: how Snow Patrol songs are in fact feminist* anthems

Because I was feeling all creative today, but also mainly because – as my best friend, who is occasionally wise, recently said to me – “not everything has to make sense”, I decided to pick my favourite Women in Business speakers’ tips from my last post and pair them up with some of my favourite Snow Patrol songs (click on the titles for YouTube links or, better yet, buy the albums!). Given my legal background, allow me a disclaimer: the link between the songs and the tips may be tenuous at times. Ok, most of the time.

Do what fires you up, even if that’s something truly weird such as Chasing Cars: “Forget what we’re told / Before we get too old / Show me a garden that’s bursting into life” and go do what you love. Apparently, that works even, like many of us, you “don’t know where / Confused about how as well”.

If you can, choose a supportive partner: i.e., one who would say something fabulous like “More than anything I want to see you, girl / Take a glorious bite out of the whole world”, as per You could be happy. Yes, that’s a break-up song, but I told you not everything has to make sense, plus you have to agree that those are such great lyrics it almost doesn’t matter what the rest of the song is about. And of course, who am I kidding, you’re far more likely to go for the guy who tells you “The perfect words never crossed my mind / ‘Cause there was nothing in there but you” a la Signal Fire or “I could sit for hours / Finding new ways to be awed each minute” as in Crack the Shutters, regardless of his feminist* credentials. Not to worry, as you may remember from my first WIB post, all you need to do if stuck with an unsupportive spouse is to make sure you’re successful enough to put a support system in place yourself instead of relying on him. Easy-peasy, right? I know – not really, which brings us nicely to…

Be resilient: or, in the words of Snow Patrol’s This isn’t everything you are: “Don’t keel over now / Don’t keel over / Don’t keel over now / Don’t keel over […] This isn’t everything you are […] Just take the hand that’s offered / And hold on tight/ This isn’t everything you are / There’s joy not far from here, right / I know there is / This isn’t everything you are”. Yes, this one’s originally a break-up song too, but forget that for a second and it’s also perfect to remind you that you are a multi-faceted human being during those blurry days and nights with a newborn (very helpfully, there’s also a line which goes “you’ve been up all night, and the night before”), or during any other times when one part of your life just explodes on you.

Know what you want and ask for it, as they do in Life-ning. For example, “to share what I’ve been given”, “some simple kindness” or, er… “Ireland in the World Cup”?

Take risks: yup, that’s a complete no-brainer – Just say yes.

On that happy note, I really need to start studying for my financial statement analysis exam on Sunday (by the way – awesome elective, awesome – don’t let the fact that it’s about accounting fool you, it’s fascinating stuff). Happy studying!


* for those who have an issue with the f-word: (i) what a nice surprise to see you here! Welcome! and (ii) I subscribe to the view that anyone who believes women can think for themselves is a feminist; no man hating required. More about this either here, via Huffington Post and the McGill Feminist Collective, or here, via Caitlin Moran and the Harvard University Institute of Politics.

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WIB conference continued: speakers’ top tips

..and we’re back! So, as I was saying in my last post, I finally managed to get to the LBS Women in Business Conference, which I missed last year because it clashed with the school schedule (that still hurts, but hey, I made it this year!!). It’s a truly brilliant event, so do plan on attending next year please. As promised, this is the post in which I share some of the “top tips” from the speakers and panellists, right in time for your morning coffee:


– don’t do anything that you don’t really enjoy

– treat yourself like a project plan

– stop believing that all you have to do is work really hard and then people will notice

– don’t be afraid to ask for help and to accept the help that’s offered

– love what you do (see? told you it kept coming up!)

– make a difference to other people’s careers

– learn from things going very badly – or, to quote Darla Moore again, “When you lose – and you will lose – don’t take it personally and don’t lose the lesson”

– know what you want and ask for it

– be resilient

– do what you love; do what fires you up

– control what you can control, but let go of the rest; anxiety is crippling

– have a burning desire to expand your own creativity

– remember kindness and courtesy

On salary negotiations:

– be confident – wave your flag!

– really know your numbers and have a value proposition (that’s MBA-speak for “be prepared to explain why you’re actually worth that much to the firm”)

– don’t take salary negotiations personally (yes, I know that’s firmly in the “easier said than done” category, but it’s worth trying to keep in mind…)

– don’t focus only on salary, but on the overall package

On gender balance:

– true equality for women will come only with economic power

– it’s very tough to drive gender balance in the office when there’s no gender balance in the home

(and, yes!!!) the sooner the superwoman myth is debunked, the better

And yes, I know I also promised you Snow Patrol in my last post, and I was going to talk about them here, but then I realised that would make the post really long again, so I’ll have to save that for next time. (I do really need to learn to write in short form…maybe if I didn’t have all these parenthetical thoughts? But then again, I love parentheses, couldn’t live without them! Oh well…)


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The best conference I’ve ever been to


If you stumbled across my latest post (or looked at the banner just above…), you already know that I’m talking about the LBS Women in Business Conference. For once, a conference I can gush about (in case you were wondering, I still failed to do any networking, unless you count talking to my friends – and I could argue that we should count that, because building a network is about strong ties as well as weak ties, and I was having a strong ties day, but I’ll spare you the blah blah and just admit that the whole networking thing is still very much work in progress).

So what did we get, apart from a fabulous line-up of speakers? (all great, but Jo Malone, Darla Moore and Sharon White were just unbelievable – talk about exceeding expectations!) There was, of course, a lot of talk about juggling, about the “gender cliff” between ages 32 and 45, when so many of us get lost among the myriad competing requirements on our time and energy and end up falling behind in our careers, about mentors and sponsors and everything else you might expect in a conference about women and business. But also…

  • healthy differences in opinion, such as when one panel member suggested we should be completely up to date with sports news so we can be “one of the boys” and another member heartily disagreed (Can I get a “hurray” for that? Yes, I’ll keep to myself my opinion that it’s incredibly silly to get so excited about watching grown men chasing a ball, just please don’t make me pretend to care about the scores and who won which pointless trophy. There’s only so much a girl can do for her career.)
  • some hope for those who got married before “will support my career” made it to the Mr Right checklist: yes, most speakers said that choosing your life partner is one of the most important career choices you’ll make, but there was also the candid “it’s fine to marry a man who’s not supportive, as long as you’re successful enough to put that support in place yourself”.
  • the best every way of saying “don’t be afraid to change direction”, c/o Darla Moore: “When the horse is dead, dismount”. Am seriously considering getting a motivational poster with that quote…
  • Sharon White including “remember kindness and courtesy” among her top tips. Yes please!
  • the same ideas coming back over and over again, so often that they became a leitmotif of the conference: (1) do what you love, (2) don’t be afraid to ask for help, (3) take risks, (4) ask for what you want
  • selfies on stage!

Next Post – Tips Alert

The organisers asked each speaker to share some “top tips” with the audience. Now, I know that some people dislike the idea of “top tips” as at best a simplification and at worst a deformation of reality. If you’re one of those people, don’t read my next post unless you really like Snow Patrol (mysterious, I know!). If, like me, you enjoy some nuggets of wisdom, even simplified, with your morning coffee, check back next week for my selection (I was going to post them here, but it turns out my posts somehow end up longer than they should be, so you’ll just have to wait a bit)


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With my head firmly in the clouds again…

Hi there! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry I’ve been lazy, time for a quick update – the last few weeks, in the form of a walk in the clouds:

16 February: flying to London for the Communications elective


Above the clouds, a lovely sunset…


…below them, a rainy evening in the magical city











27 February: back again, for mid block this time, and I get this incredible welcome:

beautiful clouds...

beautiful clouds…

...parting miraculously to make way...

…parting miraculously to make way…

...for a city I can't get enough of

…for the city I can’t get enough of

2 March: study clouds – struggling with that pre-assignment for Financing the Entrepreneurial Business (fabulous elective, by the way!), but the view from the library is gorgeous:

Library clouds - menacing...

Library clouds – menacing…

...or friendly?

…or friendly?

8 March: in Dubai for Financing the Entrepreneurial Business, catching up with the lovely EMBAD crew and staring at clouds and skyscrapers…
dubai 2

14 March: back in London for the LBS Women in Business Conference. Best conference ever – promise to write an entire post about it this week. No clouds this time, but…

A hazy "Good morning" from Big Ben

A hazy “Good morning” from Big Ben

...and Trafalgar Square

…and Trafalgar Square

...and my favourite Park Road friends in bloom - the best parting gift

…and my favourite Park Road friends in bloom – the best parting gift

Until we meet again,


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February inspiration – LBS alumna Shefali Modi

I’m fascinated by other women’s EMBA experiences, not just because it’s encouraging and inspiring to see how others have dealt with similar challenges, but also because it’s a great reminder of the wonderfully different ways in which we each craft our own way to success. After a long break, for which I take full responsibility, the EMBABE of the month returns. Vive la difference!

Our first EMBABE of 2014 is Shefali Modi, a low-carbon solutions expert whose LBS EMBA experience (JEMBA2012, for those in the know) gave her just the impetus she needed to launch into entrepreneurship. Some great advice from Shefali below, so read on.

Shefali Modi
Shefali Modi

Position before EMBA: Principal Sustainability Consultant, Helix International Group

Current position: Entrepreneur, in the initial stages of setting up my own firm.

Why did you decide to do an EMBA? I had wanted to start my own business for a while, but had little experience outside of carbon and energy consulting and wasn’t sure how to start. I hoped the EMBA would help with this. Also I had recently moved to London from the US and wanted to build a local network.

Application process / GMAT tip: The school has some flexibility with application deadlines. If you make a late decision to apply, just speak with the programme office. I decided to apply the day after the deadline for the third round. The school allowed me two grace weeks to get everything ready. The essays are important. Showing how you will contribute to the school/your class is as important as displaying what you hope to gain from the program. I had a high GMAT score. The trick is to do as many practise tests as you can.

What was your greatest concern before starting the programme and how did you overcome it? I don’t remember being concerned. It was a new adventure and I was just very excited.

Best / toughest EMBA moment:

Best: There were so many good moments, it’s hard to pick one. Often on the first day of a new class, I got a high when I realised how fantastic the teacher is and how interesting the subject matter is. Those moments made it worth all the sweat and sleeplessness.

Toughest: Somewhere in the third semester I began to feel the accumulated exhaustion. My husband was also feeling my constant absence. It was emotionally and physically difficult. Fortunately, after a few weeks the fixed courses were over and the electives provided more breathing room.

Of the things you learned while at LBS, what do you use most often? In my new venture I’m more responsible for marketing and finance. So lessons from the relevant electives have been very useful. Oddly the most useful skill came from the EMBA itself and not a class. The EMBA has forced me to become a better time manager – a skill I really value now that I’m a mother and an entrepreneur.

Favourite course: Financing the Entrepreneurial Business. The professors are amazing! The course work is fascinating.

Advice for keeping personal life afloat while on the EMBA: It’s tough. It helps a bit if your partner bonds with your classmates and joins in on social events. The really old friends will get it, and just wait until you are able to resurface.

Necessary luxury: A cook. I saved seven hours a week and got to eat healthy.

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Power Vs Passion – a Tale of Two Books

Can’t believe it’s been more than a year already. We’re well into our electives and two more streams of EMBAs have started since we did. I’m right in the middle of six weeks away from school and let me tell you, it feels weird and I miss everyone! (Speaking of which, in case you didn’t know, one side effect of an EMBA, especially right after the end of core courses, is rampant sentimentalism, even from people you would never expect! It’s really quite sweet.)

As I said, we’re now in electives season, which brings me to the topic of the day – two books I read in parallel during a fairly awful week when Mishka and Masha* both caught this horrible cold that’s making the rounds in Romania and I ended up having to check into hospital with Mishka for a few days. Everyone doing brilliantly now, no worries.

The first book was required reading for our Paths to Power elective, taught by Gabe Adams, Assistant Professor of Organisation Behaviour (and yet another amazing Woman of LBS), whose research focuses on why people help or harm others (how cool is that?). The book is “Power – Why Some People Have It – And Others Don’t” and was written by Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer, who has been teaching a course on power since 1979. This is a guy who knows a thing or two about power, and what he has to say is pretty sobering. In short: “politics often trumps performance”; if you want to succeed, you need to stop believing that the world is “a just and fair place and that everyone gets what he or she deserves” and get focused on achieving and maintaining power – and there are some scientifically proven ways to do that. This book made for some uncomfortable reading. I mean, it makes perfect sense, it’s very realistic and grown up, and I definitely recommend it (plus Gabe’s course is awesome so do get on it!), but…something was amiss.

The second book I read that week was “The Monk and the Riddle” by Randy Komisar, which I got from my super-cool EMBA friend Komal Joshi, founder of Planned Departure. (Check her stuff out – trust me, you need it!) The book is a bit of an entrepreneur / venture capitalist love story (favourite quote: “it’s the romance, not the finance, that makes business worth pursuing” – and yes, he meant metaphorically; oh, and spoiler alert – the zany entrepreneur does get financing at the end!) and it actually has a lot of interesting stuff about VC in it. “The Monk” is, however, not really about how to get financing for your start-up; it’s about what Komisar calls “creating a life while making a living”. It warns against living on the “Deferred Life Plan” – i.e. doing what you feel you have to do, no matter how little you enjoy it, on the assumption that once you’ve – fill in the blanks – got enough money, put the kids through college, paid the mortgage, retired, etc etc etc, you’ll finally be able to do what you want. The advice is not that we should all quit our jobs and follow our wild teenage dreams, or give up having goals; instead, we should make sure that whatever we’re doing is something we feel enough passion for that we could imagine ourselves doing it for the rest of our lives – the old “the journey is as important as the destination”, I guess. And, as I read it, I think yeah, I’m all for that, and it definitely sounds better than “your task is to know how to prevail in the political battles you will face”.

So as I’m sitting in the hospital room reading a few pages from one book and then a few from the other (I am an admittedly disorganised reader), I look at my four-year-old, who by this time has discovered the remote control for his bed and is having the time of his life, and I do my usual “does all this business school stuff relate to raising children in some way?” And I guess one reason why “Power” was so difficult for me to accept is that it ties in with this discussion I keep having with other parents: are we meant to raise our children so they can get by and get in front in an unfair, “survival of the fittest” world? Or are we meant to raise them so the world becomes a little less unfair?  And then I realise that framing this as an exclusive choice is as counterproductive as trying to choose between these two books I’m reading; just like “The Monk” says that it’s “not about how, but about why“, “Power” is only about how. They go together: getting your why straight will help you use the how responsibly, plus achieving the why can get pretty difficult if you’re clueless about the how. So, while I can definitely hope that the world my children live in will be fairer and more just, and encourage them to find their passion and make the world better, I guess I’ll have to also make sure that they’ve got all this “power stuff” in their arsenal so they can face the real world as they follow their passion. Time to get Masha to work on her warmth / competence balance, I guess… (you’ll have to read the book to get that, it’s actually fascinating stuff!).

* as some of you may know, I refer to my children in this blog using the names of their (currently) favourite cartoons. These days, we love love love Masha and The Bear, a fabulous Russian series we watch on YouTube. Don’t worry if you don’t speak Russian – neither do we and we’re still hooked!

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Incredible India Part 2 – Incredible Women

It’s been over a month since I came back from India and it’s safe to say I’m still processing the experience. I don’t want to go all “Eat, Pray, Love” here, but the experience was completely out of this world – from the people I met to the conversations I had to the sights I saw, everything was unexpected, thought-provoking and, well, incredible. I’ve promised myself I will focus on incredible women in this post, but before I dive into that let me set the scene here, courtesy of my very talented colleague Niels Chabot. I was there when he took these photos and I can vouch that the colours are for real – I still get goosebumps when I think about that sunset.


The backwaters at Alleppey

The backwaters at Alleppey, in Kerala



























Now let me tell you about the amazing women I met in India (in chronological order):

1. Super-cool LBS professors

Celia Moore and Lourdes Sosa are the two wonderful professors who were our coordinators (as well as cheerleaders and life savers) during the India International assignment. I have yet to fathom how they managed to keep up with all our different projects – and where they got the energy and patience to deal with all of us, especially during “never-ending Thursday” when we prepared our presentations well into the night. Lourdes, an Assistant Professor of Strategy and Entrepreneurship, focuses her research on “technological discontinuities”, market disruption brought on by radical changes in technologies. Celia, whose website I invite you to visit here, is an Assistant Professor of Organisational Behaviour. In her research, she investigates the unanticipated causes and consequences of corruption and unethical behaviour. She has written a lot about a very topical phenomenon called “moral disengagement”, defined as “a process that enables people to engage in negative behaviors, from small misdeeds to great atrocities, without believing that they are causing harm or doing wrong”. I don’t know about you, but I for one think that this moral disengagement thingy may have had quite a bit to do with all sorts of recent nasties, from the fall of Enron to the financial crisis!

With the Agastya programme coordinators - I'm the one with the boring clothes :)

With the Agastya programme coordinators – I’m the one with the boring clothes 🙂

2. The Women of Agastya

I have already told you about Agastya in a previous post, but I really wanted to say how much I enjoyed meeting Agastya’s programme coordinators – super-smart, highly educated, cosmopolitan young women who use their considerable talents and energy to help bring science to life for millions of children across India. Great inspiration, especially since no. 1 on my “Post-EMBA dream list” is replicating the Agastya model in my own country.

3. Apurva Purohit: India’s answer to Lean In

My greatest holiday fear is running out of things to read (which is probably a sign that I should be more adventurous with my holidays). So, as the International Assignment was drawing to a close and I prepared for a week of travelling around Kerala (nicknamed “God’s own country”, and with good reason!), I popped to the bookshop in the shopping mall across from our hotel. And I simply had to get this book: “Lady, You’re Not A Man. The Adventures of a Woman at Work“, by Apurva Purohit. The back cover describes it as “a smart and incisive book abut the challenges that face the contemporary Indian woman as she tries to juggle work and home”. In addition to smart and incisive, the book is also hilarious and refreshingly honest. This bit (which, of course, you may or may not agree with) hit fairly close to home for me:

“Unfortunately, feeling or not feeling guilty is not a choice you can make, since guilt comes along as part of the territory of being a woman. The only choice you can make is to decide which guilt you want to live with. The guilt of compromising on always being around for your kids and family, or the guilt of wasting that potential and that education?”

Mrs Purohit, a media industry CEO, has strong opinions and does not mince her words, but her views are balanced, well argued and humorously presented, which is a great way to start a conversation about women in the workplace. There are parts of the book that I had trouble accepting, such as the advice that, while female subordinates can simply be told what to do, male subordinates need to “be managed more artfully, by allowing them to believe that they are in full control of their destinies”, or the (hopefully joking) prediction that “men will have to morph into women if they want to survive in the new world; we simply need to be patient”. Most of the book, however, I found very relevant and thoroughly enjoyable – and while I haven’t actually met the author, it turned out that my book was autographed, so I’ll use that as the excuse to include her in my list of “amazing women I met in India”.

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Introverts and Parenting. The Final Frontier.

Maybe it’s just me (i.e. some sort of self-confirmation bias or something similar that I should remember from my OB classes) but it seems that there’s more and more talk about introverts since Susan Cain published her book “Quiet” in 2012. The book, by the way, is still, according to, the no. 1 best seller in their “Personalities” category (whatever that means) and it was voted the best non-fiction book of 2012 by It’s a great read – but, as with most famous books these days, if you don’t feel like reading it you can always watch the TED talk to get the gist of it in 20 minutes or less.

In the past month alone, two articles about introversion have landed on my Facebook feed from unexpected sources: one, in The Good Men Project (have I already mentioned how much I love this website?), is a quick “user’s guide” to introverts (top tip: “Write letters. Email. We love it”). The other, which I saw on HBR’s blog network today, is called “Personal Branding for Introverts” and includes advice such as using social media and connecting to people one person at a time – very helpful and encouraging stuff.

But the latest in my own “introverts vs the world” saga isn’t business-related: both my kids are starting new pre-schools these days, which means meeting lots and lots of new people – for all of us. My two-year old, thankfully, is quite the social butterfly, so all I need to worry about is getting her to come back home at lunch time. My four-year old, however, seems to share my feelings about big crowds of people he doesn’t know (his first thoughts about preschool – “too many kids and too much noise”; I couldn’t agree more). I, for one, will take the advice of HBR & Co – connect to the mothers one at a time and send my husband to the big Parents’ Evening gathering (yes, the technical term for that is “chicken out”, but I’m a grown-up now so I can do it). As for my son, since I promised myself to stop reading parenting books (it’s a nasty vice, I tell you), I have no choice but to use HBR as my guide there too, so we’ll be having lots of playdates, with one kid at a time. Further suggestions – for either of us 🙂 – are of course welcome.

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Incredible India part 1: Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it can save the world.

We’re in 17th century England. It’s summer and a young man looks for shade underneath an apple tree. He is the son of a prosperous farmer and a student at the prestigious King’s School in Gratham. He watches an apple falling from the tree and, lost “in contemplative mood”, wonders: “why should that apple always descend perpendicularly to the ground”? We all know how that story ends; the young man with an inquiring mind was Isaac Newton, one of the world’s most influential and celebrated scientists (on a related note – almost five hundred years later, we still don’t fully understand the mysterious force behind the perpendicular fall of that apple).

We’re  in 21st century India. It’s summer and two little village girls look for shade underneath a tree. They are the first ones in their families to go to school – the local government school, of course. The heat is unbearable and they move from tree to tree trying to escape the sun. As little girls do, they talk animatedly. They giggle. They might well be wondering about which one of them will be the first to marry or have children, or talk about the pretty sari they saw a bride wearing last month. As it happens, however, a different kind of question occupies their minds. They wonder “why should the shade of some trees keep us cooler than the shade of others?”.

And this – curiosity –  is where it all starts. With the support of an incredible organisation called Agastya, our two little girls, Jyotsna and Bhargavi, have built on their initial question to put together a project for growing oxygen on highways, which they eventually presented at the International IRIS competition in Pittsburgh, USA, after a few intense months spent learning English. You can see their story so far (and fall in love with them, as I did) here.

We are all born scientists, tinkerers and researchers; a quick chat with any four-year-old makes that abundantly clear. Sadly, once we start school many – if not most – of us have that budding scientific spirit drilled out of us: multiplication tables, dry, meaningless formulas and laws to memorise and repeat, countless theories and theorems, uninspiring teachers, all conspire to convince us that only the Isaac Newtons of this world can ever figure science out. Which is a terrible shame and an incredible waste of brain power – and exactly what Agastya aims to prevent. Its “mobile labs” (special-purpose vans filled with scientific models and experiments) drive into villages and bring science to life for millions of disadvantaged children in India. Aided by innovative teaching methods, hands-on scientific models and, above all, an unshakeable belief in the human spirit, Agastya is on a quest to spark curiosity in the minds of all children, to change “yes” to “why?” and fear to confidence, to teach kids to love learning again. Imagine it for a second – a world where children are excited about learning; where they’re no longer afraid to ask questions; where they experience the joy of discovery every day – even if they live in a village with no electricity and they’re the first in their family to learn how to read and write. What could we achieve if we let science become play again? Well, let’s hear from our old friend Isaac:

“[T]o myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me”.

Agastya currently reaches 5 million children a year. You can find out more about what they do and how they do it on their website or by watching this short documentary. Their ambition is to reach 50 million children by 2021.  That’s a tall order, of course, but having met them, I’m sure they can do it – with a little help from their friends. So how about it? It’s the best gift you can give today:


Postcard from the trenches of real life

I have so much I want to write about and my brain is buzzing with ideas that I really need to get down to paper (maybe on that long flight to the India international assignment – oh, I have to tell you about that too sometime!). Unfortunately, this is just not the week to do that, what with a deal signing, a Macroeconomics take-home exam still untouched and both kids at home failing to grasp why Mummy locks herself in the study all day and then gets really cross when they manage to come in and want to join the conference call. So here’s my postcard to you:

    • a little follow up on my last post about the likeability gap: an HBR article about “unseen barriers” to women in the workplace (mersi, Raluca!). Their term of choice is “competence-likability trade-off”, which I guess is a bit clearer than likeability gap, but seems to designate the same concept. One of the authors, Herminia Ibarra,  is an Insead OB professor and author of this great book called Working Identity that I heartily recommend, as well as this little gem of an article about how parents should go to the office late and leave early. Of course, I totally love her. She’s on Twitter, too, just in case you were wondering.
    • …plus (and then I really need to go) I have been reading Brene Brown’s books and I think she’s really on to something! I have a ton of highlighted quotes I want to share (copyright law permitting, of course) but no time, so just watch this video until I get to it – I promise you it’s a good use of 20 minutes!
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